Tuesday, 24 February 2015

It Was A Valentine's Day Eve...

It was a Valentine's eve and he was driving in an isolated road. He found it odd to see an abandoned car parked there with doors open. A distant cry triggered him to stop his car to check if things were alright. He peeked into the car's back door and found  fresh blood spots at the back seats. That's when he witnessed a masked man approaching the abandoned car...

He could see a lady's body slumped lifelessly on the car's front seat. Probably it was her loud cry that had alarmed him. He couldn't see her face as it was dark.
"Is this all happening for real? Seems like a Bollywood movie!" he thought alarmed as he tried to hide behind the abandoned car. 

The masked man had reached the car's front door and was checking if the lady was really dead. Looking convinced, the man left on his bike. Luckily, that masked man never suspected the other hidden visitor nor did he spot his car. Else, perhaps he would suffer the same fate as the lady...

He breathed a sigh of relief. He pulled out his phone to inform the police, but found there was no network-signal in that area. He used the torch-light of his phone to check out the victim's face. He was shocked to find that it was her...

He gave a cry! "No! It can't be you, Sheetal!" 
He pinched himself to ascertain if this was a bad dream nightmare. Sadly, it wasn't as the fresh blood on her body was on his hands and shirt now...

Sheetal was his neighbour and used to be his junior in School & College. She too was working like him. She often dropped in at his home. Who would even think of murdering such an innocent and nice soul? What would he answer her parents and his parents? He felt very guilty as if he was responsible for what had happened with her. Could he have saved her from the murder?

Sheetal was a simple and sweet girl, so different from the rest of the girls he knew. He trusted her and respected her for her high values and ideals. George MacDonald's quote- "To be trusted is a greater compliment than being loved" came to his mind. He knew that he actually loved her. Everyone had said that they would make a perfect pair... 


He found himself falling on his knees and holding her cold hands and confessing, "I love you, Sheetal! Wish I had told this to you earlier... It's too late now... Wish the Lord would gift you to me and we could marry!" 


"CUT! Perfect shot." 

"That was simply brilliant, Raj!" a short man appeared out of nowhere along with a group of people. 

"Hey! Who are you? How do you know my name?" Raj looked confused. 

"We are from TV Channel Tarana. This was a Valentine's Day special episode that we were shooting for. We had invited our viewers to share their love-stories and their crush's details. Sheetal had shared your pic and info, and we planned all this to get your love confession!" 

So, it was all a hoax, perfectly staged to fool Raj! 

"And the actress is too brilliant! She's still in character! Hello! You okay? The shoot is over, Sheetal!" 

"Raj, the Lord listened to your prayers and gifted my life!" Sheetal winked.

"You played with my trust! I never suspected you can do this to me!" Raj complained. 

"I waited for long and then resorted to this as I thought you would never reveal your feelings for me...", Sheetal was teary-eyed. Raj was too relieved to see her alive and hugged her.

"Everything is fair in love and war!" & " Everything happens for one's own good!" everyone chorused! 

"You both win a candle-light dinner for two at the 5-Star Hotel tomorrow courtesy our Channel! Don't forget to watch our Valentine's Day special episode with your families!"



What happens next? Spin your own story, take part & WIN! The Ultimate Story Writing Contest

Also linking with-
Wednesday Wit & Wisdom
Wordless Wednesday

Note- In the pic: My Brother and 'Mere Brother Ki Dulhan' i.e. his Wife & my sis-in-law! Pic clicked on their wedding. The couple celebrated their 5th wedding anniversary 2 days ago! Isn't it wonderful?!

35 comments:

  1. I felt more like watching CID (Though i haven't watched it from last 6yrs ).. nicely written and all the best :)

    Congratulation to your brother ! :)

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    1. Wow! You make my day, Ankur :)
      I loved CID & watched many episodes!
      Thanks for your compliment & wishes!

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  2. Wooowwwww! Superb suspense story! :D Congrats 2 Brother & Brother-ki-dulhan...may many more anniversaries come!! :D

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    1. Thanks Amrita for your nice words & hearty wishes as always :)

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  3. What a great suspense story, and I thought maybe he was going to be arrested for the murder, what with blood on his hands and all. Thanks for joining the blog hope.

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    1. Thanks Linda! Even I didn't know what was going to happen when I sat down to type the story!
      One thing was sure- it had to be a happy ending :) So, no arrests for murder!

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  4. Nothing of this sort ever happens to me. What thrill, man!

    Many congratulations to the couple and proud sister.

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    1. May God bless us & hope no shocking incidents like this happen to us!
      Thanks for your wishes!

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  5. its really a nice read, Anita.. Many wishes to your brother n his wife.. and to you.
    Being the first entrant to the contest, you win a mobile recharge from us as early bird.. Congrats!

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    1. Thanks for your appreciation & wishes, Meera :)
      Delighted to be the first participant and the winner of a mobile recharge! Yay! Thanks!

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    2. Good one, Anita. My wishes to your brother and his wife. And, congrats for grabbing the early bird offer!

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    3. Thanks for your wishes, Ashwin.
      Great to earn the cool prize! The early bird catches the offer!

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  6. Hey Congrats Anita...that was a good one
    All the best to the contest too

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    1. Thank you so much for your wishes! Glad you liked it :)

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  7. Heartfelt wishes to your brother and his Dulhan for celebrating their fifth and may they have many many more. As for the story i would say if i was Raj i would be very upset with the TV crew and Sheetal too and would never accept the candle lit dinner invite at the 5 Star.
    Getting a shy boy to propose...there ought to be better way than this...and if Sheetal can be so smart she can propose herself. These days it's happening i am told. Why my own friend from school proposed to the guy she married.
    Thing is this is story Anita wonderfully spun no doubt but what i am against is the cheap thrill that we seem to be getting addicted to at other's expense. i hope u r getting my drift.
    Hunger Games Syndrome kindo...getting thrills out of watching blood...out of other person's horror...or trauma.
    So if i was Raj and if i was writing the story maybe i won't reject Sheetal because i love her and maybe forgive her for playing this prank on me...but the rest...nah...

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    1. Thanks for your hearty wishes for my brother & his Dulhan, Shivani :)

      Thanks for your deep analysis & points about the story. When I sat down to write, I had no clue except that I don't want a real murder & sad ending!
      I added the TV-Channel part as such reality-shows are really happening. Even on FM Radio, there was this programme (may be there still is) called 'Bakra' in which interested callers can call & inform the RJ about their friend or family-member they wish to fool! The RJ's conversation with the chosen 'Bakra' is recorded and then the person, who has recommended, also joins in the same conversation & the entire thing is played on air!
      Personally, I dislike such reality-shows as like you, I get no thrills. I empathize with the poor clueless girl/guy who's made the butt of jokes or pranks and becomes the laughing stock so that her/his "friend"/"family" can enjoy! What sort of enjoyment is this?
      You are very right. Shows thrive on "blood", "horror" or "trauma".

      In fact, I feel shows like KBC have also succeeded as the public loves to watch contestants becoming hero to zero or vice-versa! It surprises me to see the way audiences watching the show (even at home) give expert advice and pass judgments about the intellectual capability of the person occupying the hot-seat! Truly hot-seat indeed that generates heated discussions & value-judgments! :)
      Similar is the case of Bigg Boss that I avoid. Why the voyeurism?

      Though I am like the story's Raj & Sheetal & I'd never take the help of such, still this looked like a positive ending & i justified it with "all is fair in love & war!" :)
      Many things are really happening. It's up to us whether we accept or not. Raj could have got so angry with Sheetal's poor prank that he could have decided to have nothing to do with her. However, I guess, the prank was so realistic and he was totally driven to despair by her staged murder, and as he loved Sheetal so much, Raj must have been relieved that she's alive as if as an answer to his prayers & thus, forgiven and accepted her and thanked his stars! Phew!
      All's well that ends well :)

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  8. Brilliant story, Anita! I can feel that you didn't want to add murder in the story. Else, you could have woven a thriller story that is obvious with the given prompt. But, you didn't and that's why it is a brilliant story :) Kudos to you!

    Many congratulations to your brother and sister-in-law :) Best wishes for the contest, dear... May you win!

    TC! Keep smiling :)

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    1. Thanks for your perfect understanding, Sindhu! I'm a great fan of detective stories and thought of writing a mystery whodunnit one. But, this is where my imagination took me!

      Thanks for your wishes. Have asked my brother to check this link for the nice wishes all have for the couple!
      TC! Keep smiling!

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  9. Thank heavens...it ended with a smile :)

    I was expecting a turmoil of emotions esp with the sight of blood....lol

    Pleasure to have you on board, Anita

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    1. You echo my sentiments, Ruchira :)

      My pleasure, actually. Thanks a lot :)

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  10. In the end, I was actually visualizing the entire episode as being played on TV. Happy ending was too good :)

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    1. You have a vivid imagination, Alok :) Thanks for reading & for sharing!

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  11. Hi Anita,
    I totally enjoyed this post. I love the way it goes from the suspense/thriller zone to love story mode- all in a few short paragraphs
    -Shantala

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    1. Thanks for your appreciation & maiden comment here, Shantala! Welcome to my space!
      Lovely to hear from you!

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  12. A Lovely story Anita Mam and my congrats to your brother and sis in law.. Happy anniversary to them both and God bless


    Bikram's

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    1. Thanks for your warm words and wishes, Bikram :)
      Glad you liked it!

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    1. Thanks for reading & sharing, Rahul :)

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    1. Delighted that you found it interesting, Pooja :)

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  15. What a great suspense story Anita :) You have a natural flair for writing!

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    1. Glad you liked it! Thanks for your nice words, Pallavi :)

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  16. Fun story. Now there will probably be someone who will start a reality show with this premise.

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    1. Thanks Patricia! They already have such reality-shows to fool all on Radio & TV :)

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  17. This was a great and unexpected twist on the beginning of the story, Anita! Here I was thinking that he would be suspected of the crime, since he was at the scene and covered with her blood. I'm not sure how she acted her part, but I think if I was him, I would be watching her closely for future deception. In a way she tricked him into confessing his love. I suppose that is better than being more direct, but if I was him I would be a bit perturbed with being tricked and frightened!

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