Two days ago, I met two charming ladies who had one thing in common- they both had a Love-Marriage and their spouses belong to different Religions.
I feel Inter-Religion Love-Marriages are a bit uncommon in Eastern India. But, then times are changing...
I got chatting with the pretty ladies and yesterday, I took their permission if I could quote & publish about them in my Blog. They heartily gave their consent!
Ms. Tania Wazid Podder (TWP) is the daughter of a Hindu Mom & a Muslim Father. Her parents had never forced her to adopt a particular religion. TWP is married to Mr. Abir Kumar Podder, a Bengali Hindu.
Ms. Sraboni Dan Menezes (SDM) is the daughter of Bengali Hindu parents. SDM is married to Mr. Jeffrey Menezes, a Goan Christian Musician. Even today her parents can't pronounce her hubby's surname.
Both TWP & SDM got married by the Special Marriage Act.
Q) Where did you meet your spouse?
TWP- At College
SDM- At workplace. We were 20 years old then.
Q) When did you realize that you are in love?
TWP- After 5-6 months. He was a good friend first. Then, we had a 7 years long courtship.
SDM- After 1 year. We had a 4 years long courtship.
Q) What did your parents say when you informed them?
TWP- They were not agreeing. We just had one year age gap. They were worried for our career and education. As I am a product of a mixed marriage myself, they were concerned about our future.
SDM- They were shocked. They didn't want me to get married outside my community & religion. They tried to change my mind. Later, they gave support when they saw that my mind was made up. As mine is a conservative family, they were embarrassed.
Q) How did you feel after getting married?
TWP- In Seventh Heaven! My in-laws were very caring. My parents did not attend our marriage. My school supported me. My great mother-in-law had reservations & had put restrictions on me initially. But, later, she gave her blessings & expressed 'Tui Amar Kacher Log' (You are my closest)!
SDM- I knew that I was breaking the rules. My parents organized the wedding. External pressure is always there that tells in the marriage.
Q) Have you watched the movie- 2 States?
SDM- Yes! I could totally identify with it as the movie has a lot of resemblance with my life- the wedding scene, even my dad made my hubby wear the dhoti, conversations between my mother and my mother-in-law...
Q) What religion do you follow at home as a family?
TWP- We follow the Hindu religion. I do Puja. I am a devotee of Lord Krishna.
SDM- We have given up religion. We have pictures of both Hindu & Christian Gods side by side. we celebrate all the festivals. We do not pressurize our kids.
Q) What is your opinion about Inter-Religion Marriage?
TWP- Should be more prevalent. Then, people will be more liberal.
SDM- Whether it is Inter-Religion/Community/State, marriage is a compromise as everything is different- eating habits, dressing habits etc.
Q) What tips would you give to couples contemplating Inter-Religion Marriage?
TWP- Be liberal & understand your partner. Keep space for yourself and give space.
SDM- Be prepared for lots of compromises. Be extremely liberal. Keep in mind that the child gets father's name and religion automatically.
Thanks Tania & Sraboni for sharing your views! It was wonderful meeting you & talking to you!
I had shared this post about Inter-Religion Marriage after interviewing as above.
I am now submitting the same for IndiSpire.
IndiSpire Edition-25 :
Marriage is a sacred relationship that is based on love, honesty, trust, faith, understanding, tolerance, devotion, commitment... and lots more.
It is true that Inter-Religion Marriage is taboo.
But, even love-marriages of the same Religion find opposition & arranged-marriages of couples belonging to the same Religion do not work out...
I feel that Inter-Religion Marriages need extra care & attention. If the couple truly loves and promises to be together & face the world, then only the couple should go for it.
What matters in marriage is how much the partners are committed to make their marriage a success & whether they can COEXIST through thick and thin.
Religion No Bar...