Thursday 16 February 2017

Women, Relationships And Hindi Movies

Indian Bloggers
Jo dil se lagey, Ussey keh do- "Hi, Hi, Hi, Hi!" 
Jo dil na lagey, Ussey keh do- "Bye, Bye, Bye, Bye!" 
Aane do, aane do, Dil mein aa jaane do! 
Kehdo muskurahat ko- "Hi, Hi, Hi, Hi!" 
Jaane do, jaane do, Dil se chale jaane do! 

Keh do ghabrahat ko- "Bye, Bye, Bye, Bye!"
 Lyrics of the song- "Love You Zindagi" from the Bollywood movie- Dear Zindagi. 
Love You Zindagi lyrics from Dear Zindagi

In the Hindi movies, Dear Zindagi & Queen, the female protagonists bid bye to relationships that they do not feel comfortable with. It may be noted that in the said movies, both the female leads- Kaira (played by Alia Bhatt) and Rani (played by Kangana Ranaut), are 'single' and can afford to take such a decision to end their relationship.

It seems it's the time for self-gratification and love for life. Saying 'Hi' to laughter and 'Bye'to tension is absolutely fine and permissible.

Thus, there are Hindi movie songs celebrating "Breakup"! 
"Let's breakup oh meri jaan!" (Let's breakup my sweetheart!) - Dear Zindagi
"Mere Saiyanji se aaj maine breakup kar diya!" (I broke up with my beau!)- Aye Dil Hai Mushkil

Ae Dil Hai Mushkil2.jpg

Seems like apart from the singletons, a breakup isn't too mushkil (tough) for the married females too viz. in the Hindi movie Aye Dil Hai Mushkil, both the female leads Alizeh and Saba (played by Anushka Sharma & Aishwarya Rai respectively) leave their husbands' homes to live independently in their dream home. 

Even in Bollywood movies like Barfii, Chalte Chalte, Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna, Arth etc the unhappy wives have walked out of unfulfilling relationships. Perhaps they found no arth (meaning) in a meaningless and loveless marriage...
Image result for arth movie wikipedia

In the movie Arth, Pooja Inder Malhotra (played by Shabana Azmi) walks out of her marriage, and finds a new meaning in her independent life. She doesn't even accept her husband, when he approaches her after his love-interest Kavita (Smita Patil) breaks up with him. 

Contrast this with the Bollywood movies of the past, where the married woman is supposed to be the epitome of virtue and sacrifice. She does anything and everything to please her 'Pati Parmeshwar' as it's believed "husband is God". 
Sahib Bibi Aur Ghulam poster.jpg

In the movie Sahib Bibi Aur Gulam, Chhoti Bahu (played by Meena Kumari) even takes to drinking alcohol just to give company to her unfaithful husband, and so that he is by her side.

In the movies Mother India and Deewar, after getting deserted by husband, the strong female character takes care of her children and single-handedly brings them up.

In the not-so-distant past, movies like Woh Saat Din and Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam, the females "adjust" with their husbands and marriage (that they were initially opposed to), despite their husbands"permission" and green signal to them to reunite with their lovers. 
Image result for hum dil de chuke sanam wikipedia

Breakup and Divorce is not okay as per Indian society and our culture.
The mentality is- 'Log Kya Kahengey" (What will people say?) 
What will society say if one is unfaithful or "cannot adjust"?
This is applicable more for the women.
The men have all the liberty to go for extra-marital-affairs (EMA) and their wives gladly accept them even after knowing about their flings as in the movies- Biwi No.1 and No Entry.

Husbands can mock, belittle, and deride their wives and not show them any "respect", yet get served with love and also get extra laddoos like in the movie English Vinglish! How convenient! Shashi (Sridevi) even ignores and turns down the attention and date-invitation of a smitten Frenchman! Hail bharatiya naari! (Hail Indian woman!)
Image result for english vinglish wikipedia

In movies like Dum Laga Ke Haisha and Akele Hum Akele Tum, the wife reunites with her husband even after filing for divorce. Happy endings are no doubt wonderful.

But, then relationships depend on the persons and the situations. 
The society can't see the decaying relationship. What seems like ember and is putrifying for one, may seem to be fresh and fragrant like a flower for another...
How far are the leads willing to go and continue saying "Hi"& not "Bye" to their relationships?

The times sure are changing. Hindi movies reflect the the changing equations in relationships!

Note- If you enjoyed reading this, you may also like my post- Exploring Bollywood Stereotypes And Impact
Images courtesy: Wikipedia

Do you feel it's easy to say 'Hi' and 'Bye' to relationships? Please share your views in the comments below.


  1. This is a tricky one, right. Yes times are changing, I also feel one should not stay in a bad relationship. But it is never so straight forward or easy I believe! More so when kids are involved. Either extreme is bad.

  2. Nice presentation with the relevant examples.

  3. Wooow. Its a review on the movies. I wonder if you were working for Filmfare magazine. What an in depth analysis. Forget about the movies, my personal life resembles to this post.

  4. Yes mam.. What you described are really markable points. Time varies wrt time... May b the relationship status varies like time. But some ppl never understand those situations for changing..

    And some can't see their own change, but they can easily see your faults.

  5. Yes mam.. What you described are really markable points. Time varies wrt time... May b the relationship status varies like time. But some ppl never understand those situations for changing..

    And some can't see their own change, but they can easily see your faults.

  6. It is nice to know various flavours of relationship through the Bollywood lenses. Of course quite often art is an expression of a changing society.

  7. He he.. this is so well put. Enjoyed reading this.. :-)

  8. A very well presented post. Quite interesting! :)

  9. Well researched and very well done! Thought provoking without being too heavy..I loved it, Anita:)

  10. Bollywood research always fascinates me. I've seen some of these movies but now plan to see all of them. As for leaving a bad relationship - self respect shouldn't allow you to remain. Time to say ' Bye' specially with the example of English Vinglish. I'm sure in real life she wouldn't have stayed on. But Bollywood likes it's women meek.

  11. You are a Bollypedia, encyclopedia of Bollywood :-) How do you remember all these details!?

    TC and keep smiling :-)

    1. And, 'English Vinglish' is such a superb example of what an Indian woman could do to get back her self respect and relationship at the same time.

  12. Mindset is changing gradually. Now we give importance on the broad-mind and there is effort on the other side through the movies to encourage this type of mentality. And it is appreciating. Everybody is equal in a relationship and have the rights to say or do what they feel. However, I believe, there can be a happy ending if we believe and have faith on each other. It's exciting to read your blogs the way you have written and put right examples in the right place.


Your words mean a lot to me.

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